Am i a NERD ?

Crazy parties, social gathering, disco nights, friends hangout are the trends that we young generation are fond of. ” Hey, wassup ? Come and hangout man !!” , ” Yo buddy, enjoy the party” , ” Chal naa yaar masti majak hi to karna hai, kuch dhamal karte hai !! ” , ” life is too small, so enjoy yaar !! ” are some of the most common line that i hear in a gathering…..gathering which i would love to join,to hangout but somehow i make sure to make my way out of all these. Other than intro type chat I just fail to come up with something creative or rather witty lines to hangout with other guy or girl just other than academic stuffs. Am I a nerd ?

My love to not love talking is since my schooling years. Thanks to my early schooling at Allahabad, teachers and my pals that i learnt to speak less … so less that it pricked like a thorn in my mind. No personal issues but sometimes i feel that my childhood has not been so wonderful due to my bullying friend circle. My teachers, yes they were good at teaching but the way they tried to discipline us is not I am very fond of. My childhood routines made sure that all I was left with were my books and computers which required just me to play which all in turn where effecting me at psychological level, completely engaged with books, disengaged with people.

As i continued to grow, I and my parents got transfered. Now I was at Paradeep, a place I never heard of and never dreamt of coming. But as they say “jo hota hai bhale ke liye hota hai !! “. I got the golden chance of meeting new lovely people and also got a platform to learn karate. But inspite of that, my childhood had left a footprint that was not so easily going away. I remember how I fumbled to talk with people. It was as if i thought everyone were hostile to me and won’t accept me. But thanks to my new schoolmate who provided me the suitable surrounding to have a normal secondary schooling. I was realizing the saying ” All study and no play makes Jack a lazy boy !!” kind of things.

My intermediate college had been a turning point For now I was forced ( forced for good) to Odia as a form of communication. At first my nerdy qualities kicked in which made it very difficult for me to communicate. But as i learnt Odia, I found that I was able to make new and better friend circle. I guess the language learning experience and the Bhai chara present in Cuttack were somewhat responsible to heal the wounds of my past and make me more open and taught me to better control my nerd side.

Now I am pursuing my engg and living in a hostel is a totally different experience. No matter how isolate lifestyle you like ,unless you are crazy, you will find yourself getting engaged in chatting with at least one person each day. But even with these I guess I was too early to decide that I ha transformed into a cool guy after completing my studies from Cuttack. Here I faced new problem, new challenges and of course… girls. All these things pulled me back to from where I all started. Now I am learning or i should say relearning the things on my own terms to come out of these clumsy situation. But will it be so easy for me to come out of nerdiness… or that it could be possible that I was never successful in neutralizing the nerd person within me and that I am stuck in a loop of thoughts ?

As always ” Bhagwaan sabka bhala kare, par shuruaat mujhse kare “


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